December 26, 2010

Can we get back in the warm car now?!

It was an Armageddon-like scene: packing the car with clothing and food, setting out in the dark of night, and racing against time to get out of state. We were escaping the blizzard, of course, which would have put an end to our Go BIG or Go Home road trip to FL.

We made it out just in time, as the northeast got socked in. Our miserly (cheap) decision to drive to FL rather than drive worked to our advantage, as the airports closed or canceled the flights we would have been taking.

Keeping it interesting was the snowfall in the south, which is both a novelty for the locals and an emergency situation, as roads become treacherous from lack of plows and lack of seasoned winter drivers.

We're not even getting out of the car this time...

Used to much worse, we shrugged our shoulders at the dusting. With front wheel drive, we looked quizzically at the cars which spun off the roads. And we were just plain irritated upon finding out that the Cracker Barrel in Jonesville, NC wouldn’t be open for dinner because the employees couldn’t make it in for work due to the two inches of snow. Matt’s mouth was set for chicken-fried…something.

Despite the surreal weather situations bringing down the worlds around us, we managed to see three BIG attractions on Day 1 of the Go BIG or Go Home Road Trip:

The huge Benjamin Moore paint can in Shippensburg, PA; a huge storage tank pained blue, standing in front of a paint store. It’s IMMENSE. There’s not much more to look at or do there, so we stopped, jumped out and took the photos. It was fuh-reezing that morning, so a quick stop was all we were willing to tolerate anyway. Even The Girl, who will brave freezing temps to play in the playground, yelled “yee-OWW,” and jumped back in the car asap.

World's Largest Apple!

We were all so disenchanted with the weather that Matt was the only one willing to exit the car to get a photo of the large Coke bottle in Hagerstown, MD, which is perched on the roof of a bottling company a minute from I-81. I don’t think the kids even looked up from watching Bolt on the DVD player.

We had to drive off the highway several miles to see the world’s largest apple in Winchester, VA. It’s in front of an upscale gift shop which called my name so loudly I almost succumbed. (“Christmas décor, 50% off.”) Again, we were too cold to linger, so we took a few photos and drove around the town to enjoy the historic architecture.

Then we began to notice more large apples in front of other businesses, painted in different themes. We discovered three more, plus the world’s largest apple storage facility. Call it a hunch, but I think the town has a history as an apple producer.

Love the fine print on this sign. Classic "C.Y.A."

You are now entering...the Princess Zone!

IT’S DISNEY GIVEAWAY DAY! But first, the post…

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

There’s a reason the sale of psuedoephedrine-laced cough medication is regulated. It can make you do crazy things. Case in point: suffering from a sinus infection, and self-medicating with Advil Cold & Sinus, I made the decision to drag everyone into NYC recently to check out the brand new Disney store…in Times Square…one week after it opened. I took leave of my senses, and I’m blaming it on pharmacology.

It’s the world’s largest Disney store, but as I found out from a “Cast Member,” it’s not as big as the “World of Disney” store in Orlando. They are different companies, so the distinction is made.

Bonus: After our expedition, nourishment was in order, so we ended up at Applebee’s. Turns out, the Times Square location is the world’s largest Applebee’s!

WHY did you go there, exactly?

Actually, we were going to the upper west side anyway, because The Girl and I had tickets for Angelina Ballerina, the Musical. The Girl imagines herself to be a dainty ballerina type. Taller, louder, and more in-your-face than all the other three-year olds in Miss Tanya’s “Combo” dance class, she obviously has an active imagination.

The boys went to check out the Quidditch World Cup, then came to pick us up after the show. When I said to Matt, “let’s go down to Times Square,” he acquiesced, knowing I was on medication and fearing the unknown.

We found free, on-street parking on 45^th street–a sign that it was meant to be. We entered, squeezed our way through throngs of people, and applied the Death Grip to The Girl’s hand so she wouldn’t get lost.

A Jessie doll? Why yes, I would be interested in purchasing that. How did you know?

Okay, what was so cool about it?

Any Disney fan will lose their mind in this place. There are two floors with floor-to-ceiling merchandise; everything from toys to apparel. The displays are so endearing, the décor so magical, the staff so friendly…all the necessary elements to separate you from your money.

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Okay, here’s my attempt at blogging with a cold. We feed, clothe, and house two Petri dishes, and they re-pay us with post nasal drip.

We hang at the Danbury location.

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

I don’t know anyone who actually enjoys grocery shopping, especially with kids in tow. Things are different when we go to Stew Leonard’s, the world’s largest dairy store. There are four locations in CT and NY, and we usually end up in Danbury. I get no arguments from anyone when I announce, “We’re going to Stew’s!”

WHY did you go there, exactly?

Granted, a grocery store is not necessarily a travel destination. But if you’re driving near their Danbury or Norwalk locations during the warmer months, you can stop in for a little diversion, and eat outside at their “hoedown,” which offers grilled cheeseburgers, chicken, hot dogs, as well as steak sandwiches, lobster and fries.

Stew Leonard’s is in the 1990 Guinness Book of World Records for having the “largest sales per square foot for a single grocery: $115 million in sales, $3,470 per square foot.”  The “World’s Largest Dairy Store” title came from Ripley’s Believe It or Not.  Regardless, the offerings go way beyond dairy. The bakery, deli, and meat department are also stand outs, and the prepared foods make a lazy cook out of me.

If a trip to Stew’s is in the forecast, I ditch the weekly meal plan like a hot potato. Yes, I’ve recently attempted to plan dinners a week in advance. Because I like to pretend I’m organized and in control. Until 4:00 comes around, nothing is defrosted, and the cereal boxes start calling my name.

Okay, what was so cool about it?

Girl: “Don’t pull the rope!” Boy: “I’m pulling the rope…” Cow: MOOOO!!! Girl: “AAAAAACK!”

Stew’s strategically elevates the supermarket to quality entertainment. The largest elements of this are the animatronic animals, food, and other characters. Push a big red button, and Twinky the Kid pops out of a box and says “Hi” with a friendly twang. The Farm Fresh Five dairy band jams over the frozen food cases, mesmerizing the kids while I peruse the nugget selection. There’s a parrot, chicken, donkey, bears, and a pine tree all ready to greet you.

And then, there’s Clover the Cow. The Boy, at ten years of age, has just recently gotten over his fear of her loud, deep “moo,” initiated with a yank of her rope. The Girl will still shake and plead “No cow!” when we pass near her sweet face. Both would much rather stand in front of Chiquita Banana, shimmying and singing along with her.

Do you know the words to the Chiquita ditty? I thought these might help, because once you watch this video, you’ll by humming the tune all day. Curiously, the official lyrics are not the ones sung by this big banana.

Whoever designed the store layout was a genius. Instead of straight aisles, there’s a winding path through each department, with occasional cut-throughs. You’re forced to pass by every single item sold at Stew’s. Not that you’ll mind. The quality is above par, and the prices are reasonable. Frequent free sample stations of both hot and cold foods lessen the burden considerably!

“Slim Skim” is secretly jealous of “Rich Milk,” who gets to sing lead. The cookies are just throwing themselves at him.

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Meet Chomsky!

Up until April of this year, the world’s largest garden gnome was Chomsky, the jolly, 13’ 6” bearded fellow who welcomes you at the entrance of Kelder’s Farm in Kerhonkson, NY. Another feather in our Hudson Valley cap. I’ve learned there are two taller gnomes; one in Iowa, and the other in Poland.  I’m bummed. I have to categorize this post as “Biggish,” not “Biggest.”

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

At the strike of midnight on September 30th, we begin the excited preparations for Halloween. It’s a long month of discussing, analyzing, and comparing costume choices; putting up decorations; watching Halloween TV specials (we own It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown) and reading our favorite books, most notably Jerry Seinfeld’s Halloween. Both kids can now recite the Halloween Three-Step Program by heart.

And of course, there’s the pumpkin picking. This year, we’re going to make Jack O’Lanterns, so inspired are we from going to the Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze.

So this year, we went to get our pumpkins about an hour away, on Kelder’s Farm in Kerhonkson, NY.

WHY did you go there, exactly?

We’ve been there to see Chomsky once before, but it was in March when the farm stand wasn’t open. We went to get a better look at the world’s second largest garden gnome, with the added benefit of getting our pumpkins and having some fun on the farm.

Okay, what was so cool about it?

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30 feet of bowling pin!

I’m taking a break from the Montréal series this week, because I’ve been dying to post this one!

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

During our April trip to Florida to visit family, my whole clan spent the evening together at Splitsville, a bowling alley in Tampa, FL. Outside the front door stands the world’s largest bowling pin, towering 30-feet over the courtyard of the Channelside entertainment complex.

Let’s just say things went much smoother than they did the day before while on the world’s longest continuous sidewalk.

WHY did you go there, exactly?

Not only can my dad bowl, he takes great photos, too!

I hardly need to justify my need to see a 30-foot bowling pin, do I? Is there a more compelling symbol of retro Americana? Just the site of it evoked childhood memories of loud, fluorescent-lit alleys; worn, ill-fitting shoes; greasy french fries; and filling in score cards with a nubby pencil. Of course, now a computer does the score-keeping for you, requiring none of that pesky arithmetic.

If I did need to justify the Pin Pilgrimage…why are you doubting my choices?!?!…I would just say that going to Splitsville offered the promise of a great evening with my whole family, including my parents, my brother, sister-in-law, and 12-month old niece (sporting her black “Kiss” T-shirt, no less).

Okay, what was so cool about it?

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Who needs a little levity today? Something to brighten their day?  MEEEEEE! And so, I present you with “Where is it? Wednesday.”  Yes, it’s almost Thursday. I should be nestled in bed, reading Real Simple magazine. But Go BIG fans need a hit of something big! And so, better late than never…

Who can tell me where this pink pachyderm is perched?

Thanks to Julie from Road Trips for Families, who submitted this from her home state (hint).

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

So much shopping. Just not before 10:00am, when we were there. D%&#$!

While we were in Montréal, we enjoyed utterly perfect weather – warm, sunny, breezy. It framed the city in such a favorable light, it was difficult to imagine the brutal winters which settle early on this island. In 1966, a major initiative began to build an underground network to connect downtown buildings, and allow the city’s weather-beleagured residents to get in out of the cold.

Today, the world’s largest underground pedestrian network, known as RÉSO, is 22 miles of malls and shops, office buildings, 14 hotels, three universities, the World Trade Centre, The Bell Centre hockey stadium, and16 Metro stations.

We found ourselves in and out of the network several times during our trip, although it was never really our true and final destination.

WHY did you go there, exactly?

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Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

Sometimes a little persuasion (okay, bribery) is needed to convince the kids that a day trip to see one of these sites is worth their while.  When I planned a NJ day trip to see the World’s Largest Light Bulb and the World’s Tallest Water Sphere, I told The Girl we would stop at the IKEA in Elizabeth to get her “big girl” bed.  She was nearly three, and while we loved the containment her crib offered, it was time to “Go BIG.”

WHY did you go there, exactly?

World's Largest Light Bulb

Light bulb:

It was a doable day trip to the Thomas Edison Center at Menlo Park, and the photos of the light bulb intrigued me. A monumental replica of Edison’s first practical incandescent bulb, it’s nearly 14 feet of Pyrex glass segments. It sits on top of the 117-foot concrete Memorial Tower, which was built in 1937 by Edison’s employees. It’s an homage to both the light bulb and another key Edison invention, the phonograph.

Any grade schooler can attribute the invention of the light bulb to Edison, but did you know he also invented the phonograph, motion picture camera, dictaphone, mimeograph, storage battery and much, much more? I guess I missed that day of school. Visiting the adjoining museum set me straight.

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COMING SOON!

Teaser: In the middle of an overgrown corner in a residential neighborhood stands a rusting stack with some 38 drawers.  The kids would have been pretty sore if this was the only site we took them to in Burlington. Their new Vermont Teddy Bears helped ease their anguish.