We’re back! Thanks for holding.
Where we went, and who was coerced into going:
You know I’m an easy grader when I rate the places we visit. Too many years spent working in PR, looking for the best in places for a proper spin. I tried my hardest at Country Junction, the world’s largest general store, but I may have met my match. It’s a chain, but we went to the largest flagship location. I couldn’t get out of this place fast enough.
WHY did you go there, exactly?
I love the retail, you know that. Matt was even patient enough to visit the world’s largest candle store, and the world’s largest shoe store. These places lulled him into a false sense of security. Having been scarred at Country Junction, I’ve lost his trust.
Okay, what was so cool about it?
A “general store” makes me think of an old-timey emporium out in Walnut Grove where the Ingalls family would buy coffee, jerky, nails, and penny candy. This place began as a hardware store, then added lawn and garden products, then gift and home décor items. There’s furniture, seasonal décor, grocery, a candy counter, and a bakery.
Oh, and a fine selection of guns and ammo. And a display of taxidermied animals. The turkey would look nice over our fireplace.
The layout follows a yellow brick road (painted squares on the cement floor), and there are a few animatronics here and there to keep the kids from whining. And random dinosaur and Spartacus statues.
We didn’t purchase much, but we did try the fresh-baked apple dumplings in the bakery department, and they were quite good.
Here’s a few things we found among the merch:
Six pack of birch beer, $4.99
2013 sunglasses to wear on New Year’s Eve, $2.99
Jar of Gooseberry Jam, $3.00
Jar of pickled eggs (your choice of mustard, buffalo, or jalapeño flavors): $5.99
Taxidermied lion (layer of dust at no extra cost), $24,999
Our coolest find was the coin-operated Zoltar machine, which reminded me of the movie “Big,” and therefore seemed GBOGH-appropriate. $7,999
Outside is a petting zoo and a playground with dirty equipment. There’s also the Barn Door restaurant with a large movie screen, an ice cream parlor, and a wine shop. Just. So. Random.
How it rated on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = snoozefest, 10 = add to your bucket list):
“Eclectic” is the kindest word I can use for this strange, dated, poor-quality collection of stuff you probably don’t need. I see a lot of hoarders starting down a dark road here.
6565 Interchange Road, Lehighton, PA, 610-377-5050