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What Happens When A Small-Town Family Visits The "World's Largest"... Whatever!

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World’s Largest Speed Boat, Clearwater, FL

You expect certain things when traveling to Florida. Heat, for instance. (We certainly got our fair share on the day we walked here.)

On our recent road trip from New York to Florida, we barely escaped a blizzard, and sought refuge in the “Sunshine” State. We arrived at the end of the coldest December in Tampa Bay’s history. Then, because we weren’t cold enough, we set out on the water. For a ride on a speedboat.

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:
We headed to the municipal marina in Clearwater, which sits on the calm, blue-green waters of the Gulf of Mexico. While there are several dolphin tour boats and fishing expedition guide boats, many of whom hawk their services on the dock, we had a distinct experience in sight: the Sea Screamer, the world’s largest speed boat.

speed boat

Photo Credit: SeaScreamer.com

Even though the temperature was in the 60’s range, the four of us were up for the challenge, since the sun was up in a clear sky. We figured, as New Yorkers, we could handle any chill with stalwart fortitude (we were wrong; more on that later). My mom and dad, our hosts for the week, were much smarter, of course. They waved us off at the pier with knowing smiles, and went for a stroll during our 75-minute cruise.

 

thrill ride

The Girl prepares to catch air as the engine revs up.

WHY did you go there, exactly?
I was naturally drawn to the “world’s largest” part, and at 72-feet long, the Sea Screamer is a big boat. In order to get the kids on board (literally and figuratively), I stressed the “speed” part. She reached speeds of 35 miles an hour, which is fast for a boat. In a humorous juxtaposition, docked next to the big Sea Screamer is the “Little Toot” boat ride. And on the other side, the Captain Memo’s pirate ship. My kids gave that one a longing glance, and I promised to take them next time.

Okay, what was so cool about it?
The ride at full speed is exhilarating, even though it is intermittent between frequent “no wake” zones. Captain Barry’s narration and well-rehearsed jokes (“the more you drink, the more dolphins you’ll see”) were amusing, and the sea-themed music was fun (“just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip…”). We passed the homes of the rich and famous, including Hulk Hogan’s estate and the former Fort Harrison hotel where Keith Richards wrote “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” in 1965.

This is how fast we were going:

Another feature of the Sea Screamer excursion is the guarantee of dolphin sightings. And by “guarantee,” they don’ t actually promise you’ll see an Atlantic Bottlenose dolphin while you’re out. If you don’t, they guarantee that you can come back within thirty days for another free trip. Alas, we only once caught a quick glance of a fin, after which I sent poor Matt on a fool’s errand to stand there for 20 minutes shooting video of the water’s unbroken surface.

It was nice to know that we could have returned for another trip, but not only did we not have the opportunity on this visit, we were also frightened to be once again subjected to the cold.

This is how cold we were:

Beach towel

I wrapped The Girl within an inch of her life in the beach towel we brought as an afterthought. I smugly thought I would do the smart thing and bring it to dry off sea spray. It soon became the only barrier between her and (imagined) frostbite. See, the thing about going fast on a boat is...it makes the air rushing at your body feel much colder than when you’re still. This hardy New Yorker, wearing her trench coat and mittens, was nearly crying from the discomfort. I spent most of the trip in a warmth huddle with any willing family member.

 

speed boat

The Boy is regrettably entering his “I’m cool, and I need to distance myself from my parents” phase.

A little background info:
The Sea Screamer was custom-built almost 19 years ago. She’s an 82-ton vessel, measuring 72-feet in length, and 19-feet wide. She has twin-turbocharged, 900 horsepower diesel engines. The Sea Screamer is Coast Guard licensed. There are two bathrooms aboard, and they sell drinks and snacks.

How it rated on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = snoozefest, 10 = add to your bucket list): [rating=6]
6. I can’t fault the fine people operating the Sea Screamer for the weather, but I willingly admit it had a negative impact on the experience. The sight of some cute, frolicking dolphins might have warmed my heart enough to stop my teeth from chattering, but no such luck.
So, if the weather is warm, please go. If the temps are below 70°F, wisely follow my parents’ lead, and stay on dry land!

Hey YOU! Go BIG:

SeaScreamer
Clearwater Municipal Marina Slip #15, 25 Causeway Boulevard, Clearwater Beach, FL 33767
727-447-7200

speed boat

Almost looks like a hot day under the Florida sun, doesn't it? HA!

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Top Five Family Road Trip Mistakes

Okay, the holidays are over, and it’s time to get back in the blogging saddle. The Go BIG or Go Home Road Trip (2010 Holiday Edition) is over, and we’re back into our routines. Routines which, sadly, include shoveling snow and administering Children’s Sudafed.

Home!

I did learn a few things from our 1,900-mile automotive journey from New York to Florida, and back again. Namely, that TSA patdowns must surely have gotten a bad rap, relative to sitting in a car for 24 hours with two kids.

We did not have a terrible experience on the road. We did not have a wonderful experience. We made errors in judgment regarding which routes would be faster, which prevented me from seeing the world’s largest peanut. I must carry the burden of that loss forever. So that you may never experience similar anguish, I must share with you our:

Top Five Family Road Trip Mistakes

1. Assume that it’s cheap to drive.

For the four of us, driving to FL was more affordable than flying during the holidays, when airfares skyrocket in line with demand. But while it was cheaper, it was not cheap. Our expenses for the four travel days, including gas, meals, and accommodations, totaled $903.42!

By the way…taking the train? Almost as expensive as flying!

2. Underestimate how long the drive will take.

Google Maps says it will take 10 hours from Point A to Point B. Your GPS unit says it will only take nine hours , 50 minutes. Don’t be fooled. It will take 12 hours. You will have to stop for gas and potty breaks, at the very least. You will want to stretch your legs, breathe fresh air, and untangle the two angry children wrestling in the back seat because one of them crossed the invisible center borderline.

3. Start out without hotel reservations.

This is one mistake we didn’t make, happily! You may consider leaving your overnight lodging up to chance, depending on how far you get. That’s risky when you’re traveling with kids, and want some assurance of a clean, safe place to stay. Also,  if bad weather forces people off the road, hotels may get overbooked. Find a hotel near where you think you’ll end up, make a reservation, and make note of their cancellation policy.

4. Eschew electronics.

If your family doesn’t own a T.V. , kudos.  On the road, you will need to plug the kids in eventually, or all of you will go crazy. (Yes, I am clairvoyant.) Part of the fun in travel is to have experiences they don’t get at home, so why not  entertainment too? PIXAR movies, in particular, appeal to children of all age groups, and keep the peace.

5. Set out with absolutely no idea where your next meal will be.

I-95

Enter to Win This!

This could lead to disaster if you have young children who get cranky when they’re hungry. We have some of those, and the snacks I packed didn’t always cut it. It was important to have some idea of where and when we were stopping for meals. While we were on I-95, this guidebook became an invaluable resource:  Drive I-95, by Stan Posner and Sandra Phillips-Posner.

I actually downloaded the PDF version to my laptop; how “eco”! On the first day of our return trip, it helped me avoid trouble when lunchtime was approaching, and I realized that we wouldn’t make it to the Applebee’s off Exit 6 in Georgia. My first clue was The Girl’s fervent demand, “When are we eating lunch?!” One look at the map, and we found a Wendy’s off Exit 373 in Florida. Close call, but nothing four chicken nuggets couldn’t help.

I find it remarkable that the authors have visited every single exit along I-95 from Maine to Miami! In addition to listing restaurants, they provide exit-by-exit info on lodging, gas stations, attractions close to the highway, campgrounds, mechanics, and much more.

And I’m happy to add that we have a copy to give away!! Because we all love Go BIG or Go Home giveaways, don’t we?

Want to enter? Just sign up to receive our e-mail notifications (see upper right hand corner). Alternatively, you can comment below and tell me which of the road trip mistakes listed above you’ve made, and what happened as a result. The juicier the story, the better!

A winner will be chosen randomly, and a winner will be notified next Tuesday (1/8/10). The winner will be asked to provide a mailing address within the U.S. or Canada.

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Go BIG or Go Home Road Trip; Day Two

December 27, 2010

It was a historic day in the city of Columbia, SC. The first Christmas snowfall. We drove into town and scratched our jaded New Yorker heads. It was merely a dusting; certainly not enough to stop everything in its tracks. But it did. The EdVenture Children’s Museum, our morning destination, had delayed its opening until noon, which put our road trip schedule behind.

We’re nothing if not flexible (snicker), so we took it in stride. We had to give up our plans to take I-75 through GA, however, and so I didn’t get to see the world’s largest peanut. It would have tacked on another 90 minutes to our travel time to Tampa, and that’s like asking…”Please, may I have two cranky kids in the back seat? Thank you!”

Next week, I’ll post a more complete description of “Eddie,” the world’s largest kid, who sits in the middle of the completely engaging and entertaining EdVenture Children’s Museum. This attraction was well worth adding to our itinerary; the kids loved every minute.

Childrens museum

"Eddie," the world's largest kid!

As it turned out, we should have taken I-75, because we got caught in a horrific traffic jam on I-95 through SC. We got back every penny we paid for “Nuvi,” our GPS unit, who found an alternate route along the kind of back roads which instantly bring to mind banjo melodies.

No matter how many times I’ve driven into the state of Florida, it always takes me by surprise when I realize I still have hours to go after crossing the state border. It’s such a LOOOOOONG state! I also half-expected the weather to turn instantly balmy, but no such luck. Temps were still in the 30’s. We arrived in Tampa three hours behind our anticipated time, exhausted but safe.

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Go BIG or Go Home Road Trip; Day One

December 26, 2010

paint can

Can we get back in the warm car now?!

It was an Armageddon-like scene: packing the car with clothing and food, setting out in the dark of night, and racing against time to get out of state. We were escaping the blizzard, of course, which would have put an end to our Go BIG or Go Home road trip to FL.

We made it out just in time, as the northeast got socked in. Our miserly (cheap) decision to drive to FL rather than drive worked to our advantage, as the airports closed or canceled the flights we would have been taking.

The satisfying, if deceptive, thing about the southbound drive is that you get through the smaller states relatively fast, giving you a false sense of advancement. We were checking off BIG stops quickly…and then we hit VA, NC, and SC. That’s when your skin starts to crawl.

Keeping it interesting was the snowfall in the south, which is both a novelty for the locals and an emergency situation, as roads become treacherous from lack of plows and lack of seasoned winter drivers.

Coca-Cola

We're not even getting out of the car this time...

Used to much worse, we shrugged our shoulders at the dusting. With front wheel drive, we looked quizzically at the cars which spun off the roads. And we were just plain irritated upon finding out that the Cracker Barrel in Jonesville, NC wouldn’t be open for dinner because the employees couldn’t make it in for work due to the two inches of snow. Matt’s mouth was set for chicken-fried…something.

Despite the surreal weather situations bringing down the worlds around us, we managed to see three BIG attractions on Day 1 of the Go BIG or Go Home Road Trip:

The huge Benjamin Moore paint can in Shippensburg, PA; a huge storage tank pained blue, standing in front of a paint store. It’s IMMENSE. There’s not much more to look at or do there, so we stopped, jumped out and took the photos. It was fuh-reezing that morning, so a quick stop was all we were willing to tolerate anyway. Even The Girl, who will brave freezing temps to play in the playground, yelled “yee-OWW,” and jumped back in the car asap.

apple

World's Largest Apple!

We were all so disenchanted with the weather that Matt was the only one willing to exit the car to get a photo of the large Coke bottle in Hagerstown, MD, which is perched on the roof of a bottling company a minute from I-81. I don’t think the kids even looked up from watching Bolt on the DVD player.

We had to drive off the highway several miles to see the world’s largest apple in Winchester, VA. It’s in front of an upscale gift shop which called my name so loudly I almost succumbed. (“Christmas décor, 50% off.”) Again, we were too cold to linger, so we took a few photos and drove around the town to enjoy the historic architecture.

Then we began to notice more large apples in front of other businesses, painted in different themes. We discovered three more, plus the world’s largest apple storage facility. Call it a hunch, but I think the town has a history as an apple producer.

apple apple apple
Tomorrow: Day Two!

apple

Love the fine print on this sign. Classic "C.Y.A."

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World’s Largest and Deepest Freshwater Spring, Wakulla Springs, FL

FIRST, an announcement that Linda B. is the winner of our latest giveaway, a copy of Walt Disney World Extreme Vacation Guide for Kids by Kathleen Reilly. CONGRATS!!

This morning, the outdoor thermometer read a whopping 2° F. That’s why I especially enjoy this month’s guest post about a warm, sunny place. My friend Rebecca Roberts lives in Tallahassee, FL, which is close to Wakulla Springs, the world’s largest and deepest freshwater spring. We met way back in elementary school, when we both lived in the Middle East. She still lives in a warm climate, while I’m stuck in this frozen tundra.

I lived in Tallahassee for three years, just out of college, and unemployed. My parents graciously opened their home to me, then charged me rent! (Something about a valuable life lesson, blah blah.) So, I’ve been to Wakulla Springs myself, and even got to ride on the glass-bottom boat, which isn’t always running, depending on the weather and water quality.

Wakulla Springs

GOR. GEOUS.

What left the biggest impression on me? The signs warning that alligators are attracted to pets and small children. Yikes.

But Becca the Brave didn’t let the threat of harm prevent her from providing this report from the field:

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

Becca and her boys!

This August for our last “field trip” before the start of school, I took my sons, Will (8) and Sam (5) to Wakulla Springs.

WHY did you go there, exactly?
We had all been there before as a family and on a kindergarten field trip, but it is one of those day trip destinations from Tallahassee that we try to do at least once a year.

Okay, what was so cool about it?
We went to the springs to go on the 45 minute boat tour and take a dip in the freezing cold spring. The water is 70 degrees year round and on a 98 degree day in August it will take your breath away. Wakulla Springs is very unique to the area and a cool trip for the day. We packed a picnic lunch, our swimsuits and made a day of it. The boat tour is a must-do. On every visit we have had a tour guide that is both entertaining and knowledgeable about the surroundings. The boat winds down the river, which is lined with Cypress trees dripping with Spanish moss. We saw various birds, alligators, turtles, snakes (ugh!), fish, and we even saw two manatees on this trip.

Alligator

I leave the death-defying reporting to my guest bloggers.

A little background info about the place:
Wakulla Springs is located on the Florida Panhandle near Tallahassee. On average, more than 250 million gallons of water flow from Wakulla Springs forming a nine mile river that reaches the Gulf of Mexico.  If the water is clear you can see the fossilized remains of a mastodon resting on the bottom in about 80 feet of water. There are miles of caves and tunnels under the water.

And, this is where I would start worrying about that alligator warning sign…

Wakulla Springs is a state park, so it is available to anyone that would like to visit, and it is open 365 days a year. The springs also has a lodge and restaurant that has been open since 1937, and it still appears as it did back then.

FUN FACT…… Scenes from the movies ”The Creature From The Black Lagoon” and “Tarzan” were filmed at Wakulla Springs!

How it rated on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = snoozefest, 10 = add to your bucket list): [rating=9]

9. Wakulla Spring is a must-do if visiting the “Big Bend” area, and we typically bring visitors from out of state because it is so unique.

Hey YOU! Go BIG!:

Edward Ball Wakulla Springs State Park
Friends of Wakulla Springs

550 Wakulla Park Drive, Wakulla Springs, FL 32327. (850) 926-0700

Turtles

Sunbathing sounds really good right about now.

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World’s Largest Spanish Restaurant, Tampa, FL

This being the start of the most food-focused week on America’s calendar, I thought it timely to share our experience at the Columbia Restaurant in Tampa, FL. Happy Thanksgiving, from our family to yours!

Columbia RestaurantWhere we went, and who was coerced into going:

Date nights are few and far between these days, so when we visited my parents in Tampa this spring,  we were no sooner in their front door before dropping the kids like hot potatoes to be spoiled rotten by Grandma and Grandpa. Grandma makes them mac n’ cheese from scratch…with a cheese sauce started with a roux. It is, as The Boy described it when he was just six, the “pièce de résistance.”

Our date night included The Columbia Restaurant, the world’s largest Spanish restaurant. The Columbia welcomes families, so we could have brought the kids, but The Girl in particular would probably not appreciate the wait for our made-to-order meals.

WHY did you go there, exactly?

The Columbia is actually a chain of seven restaurants throughout Florida, but the original location is in historic Ybor City. Tampa’s “Latin Quarter,” Ybor City is where Cuban immigrants built a home away from home in the early 1900’s. You can make a day of exploration here, visiting the Ybor City Museum State Park, Centro Ybor, and José Martí Park.  Strolling along Seventh Avenue is also a treat, with shops, cigar shops, and even a hookah bar. We took advantage of the time we had sans offspring to take in a few of these sites, capping off our afternoon with an early dinner.

Suit of Armor

Sometimes Matt is so guarded with his innermost feelings. I smile through the pain of not being able to penetrate his emotional armor.

Okay, what was so cool about it?

Three highlights make dinner at the Columbia a special occasion: the architecture and ambiance; the food; and the flamenco show. Over 100 years old, the Columbia boasts authentic Spanish and Moorish architecture, original art, and decor. There are touches of vibrant tile work, natural stone, stained glass, and stately wrought iron in nearly every room. There’s a lovely mosaic-tiled fountain in the Patio Dining Room.

Paella “a la Valencia” is the most popular dinner dish on the menu here, with about 400 orders served on a typical Saturday evening. The Columbia’s other signature dishes include Snapper “Alicante,” Pompano en Papillot, Filet Mignon “Columbia,” and the original “1905” Salad, which was named “One of America’s Top 10 Best Salads” in 2008. I had the paella, and Matt had the Steak Salteado, made with smoky, succulent chorizo. He always orders the better dish…always. I don’t know how or why. He’s become used to dividing up his meal and handing some over to me, rather than subject his dish to the inevitable attack from my fork and knife.

Paella

Matt won't eat anything which swam in a former life. Oh well; more paella for me!

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World’s Largest Bowling Pin, Tampa, FL

World's Largest Bowling Pin

30 feet of bowling pin!

I’m taking a break from the Montréal series this week, because I’ve been dying to post this one!

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

During our April trip to Florida to visit family, my whole clan spent the evening together at Splitsville, a bowling alley in Tampa, FL. Outside the front door stands the world’s largest bowling pin, towering 30-feet over the courtyard of the Channelside entertainment complex.

Let’s just say things went much smoother than they did the day before while on the world’s longest continuous sidewalk.

WHY did you go there, exactly?

Not only can my dad bowl, he takes great photos, too!

I hardly need to justify my need to see a 30-foot bowling pin, do I? Is there a more compelling symbol of retro Americana? Just the site of it evoked childhood memories of loud, fluorescent-lit alleys; worn, ill-fitting shoes; greasy french fries; and filling in score cards with a nubby pencil. Of course, now a computer does the score-keeping for you, requiring none of that pesky arithmetic.

If I did need to justify the Pin Pilgrimage…why are you doubting my choices?!?!…I would just say that going to Splitsville offered the promise of a great evening with my whole family, including my parents, my brother, sister-in-law, and 12-month old niece (sporting her black “Kiss” T-shirt, no less).

Okay, what was so cool about it?

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Bayshore Boulevard: World’s Longest Continuous Sidewalk

NOTE: We don’t limit our Go BIG adventures to just the world’s “largest.” We also have room in our hearts for the world’s longest and tallest! Cause they’re big too, in their own special, linear way.

Where we went, and who was coerced into going:

My parents and brother’s family lives in the Tampa Bay area, so we visit regularly. Generally, there is an understood Florida embargo in place for us between the months of April and October, when the average temperature there hovers around 170 degrees. At least, that’s what it feels like to us.  We are heat wimps. We wilt and grow increasingly cranky with the humidity levels.

World's Longest Sidewalk

Drama Girl, still not over “The Sunscreen Incident.”

However, our February ’10 trip was cancelled due to a huge snowstorm in NY, so we rescheduled for late April to coincide with a school holiday.  So the four of us, along with my parents, decided to take a stroll along Bayshore Boulevard, the world’s longest continuous sidewalk, on a hot, sunny day.

WHY did you go there, exactly?

This wasn’t my first time on Bayshore, but it was for the kids.  I lived in Tampa during my high school years, and have been back many times.  I’ve driven along the boulevard many more times than I’ve actually walked it, however, so it was time to experience it on foot.

We almost didn’t get there, actually.  The Girl, who I had slathered liberally with sunscreen prior to leaving the house, had accidentally rubbed some into her eye.  A 30-minute drive filled with wailing and crying set our nerves on end, even before we stepped out into the unforgiving heat. But it was also exactly the excuse we needed to cut short our “Walk on the Surface on the Sun.”

Okay, what was so cool about it?

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This family travel blog won’t work! Or will it?

BowlingPin

World's Largest Bowling Pin, Tampa, FL

Says The Boy: “We’re going to see a 30-foot WHAT?!”

Me, responding: “Come on, indulge your old mom. I…won’t be around forever, you know…sniff.”

Some call it “guilt.” We Italians call it “love.”

Reasons why we are unlikely characters for a family travel blog:

Well, for one, we don’t travel that often.  Because…

…we are in possession of a three-year old daughter prone to public meltdowns with a haughty suspicion for any food that doesn’t start with “Mc…”

…the man of the house hates getting lost.  He has an unnatural affection for — and reliance on — our GPS unit.

…there aren’t always the funds, or the time, to get away.  The kids’ activities have us scheduled to the very nanosecond.

So, here’s where you WON’T find the four of us: zip lining in the Costa Rican rainforest; snacking on toasted crickets in Thailand; or snowboarding down Mount Kilimanjaro.  If that’s the kind of blog you enjoy reading, sorry!  More likely, we’ll be riding in the family roadster, playing “I Spy” during a day trip through our Hudson Valley backyard.

It’s a “back-to-basics” approach to travel, and it works for us!

Reasons why we could actually make this blog work:

We finally got the kids their passports.  Anyone who has tried keeping their pre-schooler still long enough to get that photo taken knows…fun times.

Rome

With my brother in Rome, 1977

I’ve travelled since I was seven, so it’s in my blood.  More about that in “The Prequel.”

I’ve passed the restless “I wanna see the world” traveling gene on to my 10-year old son, who keeps track of where he’s been with push pins in a map.  Wherever he goes, our daughter is willing to tag along.  Plus, for some unknown reason she calls a hotel a “soyal,” which kills me every time I hear it.

My husband is a great sport who’s okay with doing most of the driving.  So long as he can stop for Dunkin Donuts coffee every few hours.  The Girl can place his order by heart: “extra large, french vanilla, milk and sugar.”

Travel provides riches in experiences and education, which I desperately want for my kids.  It’s my job to expand their view of the world, encourage their curiosity, and broaden their perspective.  And I’ve only got three more years to do so before my son becomes a surly, uncooperative teenager. Borrowed time.

Vermont

Jeffersonville, VT, 2009

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